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02:20am 30/09/2011
mood: pensive
Nothing like reading 5 year old emails from the ghosts of friends past to really see a whole different angle of things. I never intentionally did shitty things, but it turns out I did some pretty shitty things. I feel like a cock ring right now. A few years and a little bit of maturity can really make you feel like a shitbag.....
...I'm sorry anybody that I hurt. Please know that is never my intention...ever.
The following is a forever-incomplete list of awesome quotes from awesome people.   
02:07pm 26/08/2011
mood: awake
"I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country … how are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?" - Bill Hicks

"The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions" - Bill Hicks
"I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me." - Bill Hicks

"I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.'

You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it." - Bill Hicks

"This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart." - Bill Hicks

"Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it." - Bill Hicks

"If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." - George Carlin

"No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it." - George Carlin

"Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?" - George Carlin

"Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?" - George Carlin

"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem." - George Carlin

"Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers." - George Carlin

"“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict." - George Carlin

"Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here." - George Carlin

"When you think about it, attention-deficit disorder makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn’t a lot worth paying attention to." - George Carlin

"He who sees the truth, let him proclaim it, without asking who is for it or who is against it." - Henry George

"How can a man be said to have a country when he has not right of a square inch of it?" - Henry George

"The man who gives me employment, which I must have or suffer, that man is my master, let me call him what I will." - Henry George

"There is danger in reckless change, but greater danger in blind conservatism." - Henry George

"What has destroyed every previous civilization has been the tendency to the unequal distribution of wealth and power." - Henry George
Start of 10 day juice fast   
04:19pm 01/08/2011
  Day 1 !

So I've had some pretty bomb juice today. I'm hungry...and tired. But not feeling as shitty as I did after I ate those Jack in the Box curly fries last night. Feeling up for day 2. Tonight Matt and I make an all veggie one!!!
Weigh-in day!   
10:45am 17/03/2011
mood: Motivated
So at day 1 I weighed in at 175 lbs..
That was over two weeks ago today...
Today on Day 17 I weigh in at .... 169.4

Fuck. Yes. Can't complain about 6lbs in roughly 2 weeks. I wish the number was substantially smaller, but it'll get there. In the mean time I've decided to write a rewards list for hitting certain goals!

start clothing fund with former 'snack' money
*pedi/mani after completing 28 days!
*Every 5 lb. cook/try something new (which this week I'm going to try falafel and tzatziki)
10 lbs - Buy myself something at The Chocolate Shoebox (like some Toms shoes or something :) )
20 lbs - A new tattoo..a really pretty colorful one right on my fucking arm.
30 lbs - i-pod nano w/ arm strap (lookin hot!)
40 lb.s (holy balls I can lose 40 pounds!) Rent a Zipcar and go somewhere gorgeous!
50 lbs - Special something for wardrobe like a new dress from ModCloth or Pinupgirlclothing. And a nice dinner to celebrate! Plan a vacay away! Like go visit my girl Savvy in Arizona.
Hilarious conversation with my step-father,   
06:53pm 16/03/2011
mood: accomplished
07:56pm 02/03/2011
mood: refreshed
So I've been keeping the vegan lifestyle going (minus a horrific incident with a delicious salted caramel cupcake), and I've lost 10 lbs. But it's taken 6 months of living in our new place for me to drop 10 lbs and kind of hover around there. I've decided to start training for some 5ks and hikes this summer! I want to start this adventure club already.

Places and Races

The Hoh River, through The Hoh Rainforest
Point of The Arches
Carkeek Park 5k and 10k trail runs nov 13
Iron Girl 5k or 10k Sept. 11.
Almost 2 months as a vegan!   
02:23pm 28/12/2010
mood: optimistic
I'm coming up on 2 months straight as a vegan.
I'm sure there have been traces of milk in something I've eaten. It really threw me off when a product would include "whey" as an ingredient. Just write milk ya d-bags.
It hasn't all been healthy though.
The last few weeks have been filled with pasta, french fries, and chips.
Very little fruit involved.
I just don't like sugar all that much.
Today I'm doing a detox, to try an get back into the healthy part of vegan food.
Rather than hitting up Flying Apron ( a vegan bakery not far from here) every chance I get haha
But man, I sure could go for a bag of kettle salt and pepper chips. oh man.
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2 weeks down!   
03:20pm 19/11/2010
mood: mellow
So I've been vegan and a non-smoker for two weeks.
I feel really fucking good.

Even though I'm eating really healthy, I still have an over-eating problem.
I will constantly be in the kitchen opening the fridge, staring at the the food inside, and closing the fridge.
10 minutes later I'm making toast or preparing guacamole.

At least all the obsession with food has kept my mind off of smoking.
It made quitting a lot easier.

I did an all raw fruit and water detox yesterday which was super helpful.
I haven't been over eating today.

I really wanna check out Pizza Pi in the U-District!
I've heard they have bomb vegan pizza
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2nd day as a vegan..   
12:18am 07/11/2010
mood: stoned
...and a non-smoker.
I have definitely felt tempted a few times.

waiting at the bus stop without a cigarette in my hand felt weird.
Also, watching someone smoke 2 feet from me was challenging.
It felt good not to cave though.

On the vegan side of things..it's been surprisingly easy.
When I think about it I rarely ever ate meat anyhow.
Cheese is kind of a toughy...but not really.
We have some pretty bomb almond cheese we put over pasta
with garlic and tomatoes.

I'm already in a better mood!
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My first day as a vegan.   
12:33am 05/11/2010
mood: high
I've thought about it since I was 12. My dad just laughed at me and served me a hearty serving of amazing chicken his chef girlfriend had just made. He had told me that morning, "You won't last a day".

He was right back then. It finally took me 13 years to have the balls to just go vegan and fuck what anybody else thinks.

I'm excited!

Tomorrow I shall start with a detox. Not super stoked on it, but I will feel like a million bucks the next day.
04:45pm 12/01/2010

Fluid social change can only materialize if two circumstances are met. One, the human value system, which consists of our understandings and beliefs, must be updated and changed through education and thoughtful introspection. Two, the environment surrounding that value system must change to support the new world view. The interaction between a person's value system and their environment is what influences human behavior.

For example, in our culture, "ethics" is really is a matter of degree, for our social system promotes and rewards competition and self-interest. This perspective doesn't just "lead" to aberrant behavior... it creates it directly. Corruption is the norm in our society and most people do not see this, for since the society supports this behavior, it is considered right and normal... or as a matter of degree.

Given this understanding, there is a fallacy that has emerged where certain groups are deemed "corrupt" and everyone else is "good". This is the age old "us and them" world view which has no basis empirically, for it is, again, all a matter of degree.

For example, there is a large movement of people who constantly talk about "The New World Order" and this notion that there is an elite group of people who have been trying to take over the world for a long time and have manipulated society in various ways to further their goals.

This, of course, is true to a certain extent.

BUT, the failure of awareness is that this "group" is not a group at all. It is a tendency.

If you took out all the people at the top who are engaged in global hegemonic rule, it would simply be a matter of time before another group stepped in to seek the same ambition. Therefore, it isn't the individual people or groups that are the problem. It is actually the conditions upon which those people have been accustomed and indoctrinated by. Of course, many argue against this view with the escapist notion that it is "human nature" that causes this competition and need for dominance. This is unsupported by the facts. In reality, we are nearly clean slates when we are born and it is our environment that shapes who we are and how we behave.

Therefore, in order for TRUE change to occur, we must spend less time battling the products of this sick social structure and more time trying to change the root causes. As difficult and daunting as it may be to think this way, it is the only way our world will change for the better.

We can continue to stomp on the ants coming out from under the refrigerator, but until we remove the spoiled food behind it, they are just going to keep coming.
Quote of the day....   
02:55pm 07/12/2009
  Said about the diary Jon Dunbar keeps in Dances With Wolves:

"Mood:Ecstatic, Omg hung out with Stands With a Fist again today. Squeeee"-Matt Bentley
Quote of the day....   
02:38pm 06/12/2009
  And yesterday's quote...

"Medusa...she turns you to stoned."- Matt Bentley

"Who wants to have sex with me? I have two mini-vans." -Josh Bentley
11:43pm 24/11/2009
  Is gonna be awesome. Fuck it.

Just gon' let that shit roll off my back.

Tomorrow is a busy one, then it's 5 days of sanity.
80's Night & Beauty School   
09:29pm 22/11/2009
  Beauty is what I've been up to lately and 80's night is what I did last night. Thanksgiving is next week and we have a full house of friends coming over. Joe is hopping on a Greyhound tomorrow to drive 3 days, and over 3,000 miles, to come live with me! He will also be here for Thanksgiving. I have great friends, I'm kicking ass at school, and I'm really diggin' life right now. :)







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I am so...indescribable   
02:53pm 02/02/2009
mood: indescribable
I feel SO much fucking anxiety.

This was the first of many long days ahead of me.
I was learning marches and about facing from my roomie last night.

I got paired with this awesome girl, Brittany.
She's going to be in my flight school, and training school most likely, and she's going to Korea too!! That's pretty much the up side I'm feeling right now.

Other than that I feel so lonely without Matt.
I've called him a billion times already though.
It's okay...because me and him will always be okay.

I really miss my friends.
I'm really missing Savvy.
She's coming to see me in a couple hours.
I can't wait to see her.
It feels so awesome that someone is coming here to visist me.
Half the world has visited my room mate already.

FUCK. I leave tomorrow morning.
This time tomorrow..me..in boot camp.

I already miss you guys so much.
How can you determine the sex of a chromosome?   
05:13pm 23/01/2009
  Pull down it's genes.

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I can't wait for my girls to get here   
04:50pm 23/01/2009

And David is making me Chicken Parm for dinner!
Well shit...   
12:34pm 22/01/2009
mood: indifferent
Looks like I passed that psych eval...

I leave for boot camp in 8 days.

Got damn...

With a strong possibility of being stationed in Korea.
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Psych Eval   
06:15pm 06/01/2009
  Had a psych eval...lasted 5 fucking hours.

I find out Friday if I'm crazy or not.
Also if I'm in the Air Force or not..


Miss everyone.
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